After months of delay, my period finally arrived last night (or this morning, more specifically). I was sad and confused, honestly. I don't get what's wrong with my body, and my mind keeps thinking the worst of it. Yes I'm learning to be patient but when you can't help getting your hopes up, sure is so hard to deal with disappointment.
People said that you shouldn't really think about it, don't stress about it, but that's not so easy to do. I'm done looking forward to other things, by now most things I can let go of, I can say it will happen when it happens, but this one... I am really hopeful and really look forward to. To make things worse, I started recognizing some symptoms too, maybe it's just my mind tricking me somehow.
I thought maybe I need distractions, but I don't really know what can distract me. I don't want to waste time feeling sorry for myself, I don't really, I am just feeling sad. Tomorrow I'm going to the doctor to at least ask, originally it was meant to make sure if I'm really pregnant, but now that I knew I'm not, I'm only going to ask what's wrong and seek further help if needed. Initially I was happy and excited to go to the doctor, now mostly I'm just a little curious, and a lot sad and afraid.
I applied for something today just to let myself think that I made an effort.
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